


Dean's Office

by Dee_Laundry



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-03-31
Updated: 2007-03-31
Packaged: 2017-10-14 03:57:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/145085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dee_Laundry/pseuds/Dee_Laundry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Future ficlet</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dean's Office

**Author's Note:**

> Hannahrorlove asked me to use this quote from Ferris Bueller's Day Off: "A - You can never go too far. B - If I'm gonna get busted, it is not gonna be by a guy like that."

**So, your Dean-ship, light of my life, that's my plan. What do you think?**

Absolutely not. It goes too far, and your patient's father will find out and sue the hospital.

**A - You can never go too far. B - If I'm gonna get busted, it is not gonna be by a guy like that.**

_You did get busted and it was by a guy like that._

**Thanks for ruining a good movie quote with ancient news, Cameron. You've certainly gotten snippy since you made department head.**

_You keep poaching my best candidates! A month with you and they leave the hospital. Why don't you give me six months with the latest one? Let me get her hooked on the hospital and inured to you, and then you can have her for a couple of years._

**Ooh, sounds like a sex slave thing. I'm getting turned on.**

It's a good idea, Cameron. We're doing it. In fact, I might have all of House's new hires go through your tutelage first.

**No way! She'll get caring cooties on them.**

_Real mature._

I recognize a negotiating stance when I see one. What do you want?

**More money.**

You don't need more money.

**Do any of us need more money? I want more.**

Quit turning down lectures then. There are companies willing to pay a lot for you to speak. The hospital gets half and you get half.

**I won't whore myself out like that. But if you up my salary, I'll make it worth your while.**

_House!_

Sleeping with me for gain is fine, but actually doing something that should be part of your job is prostitution?

**I knew you'd see it my way, Jimmy. You're a much more amenable Dean than Cuddy ever was.**

She still chairs the Board, so she can still give us both hell. No on the procedure, no on the higher salary, and yes on the plan for Cameron to break in your new fellow.

_Thanks, Dr. Wilson._

**I take it all back, every nice thing I ever said about you.**

All three of them? I think I'll live. Back to work.

**Come on, you've got to give me something. Cameron's going to think I'm whipped.**

_A mental image I did not need._

Ok, fine, I give in; I'll make you fettucine carbonara tonight.

**And no veggies!**

Not so much as a sprig of parsley. Now go.


End file.
